Raw

▲ Subject: Period Graph Books

Since Period 5, Financial Analysis has been responsible for producing four
graph-presentation books previously handled by Corporate Planning. This memo
describes issues that appeared after the transfer.

✂ Production

1. Gather data from divisional forms, internal documents, and telephone calls.
2. Calculate graph points manually or on the corporate computer, including
   rolling values for revenue, cost, and percentages.
3. Transcribe the points to input sheets. Analysts update the current period,
   then Color Graphics re-enters the points into its own database and generates
   the graphs.
4. Check the data and calculations.

⚠ Issues

The transfer inserted another person into an already fragmented process.
Divisional staff and three corporate departments participate, and the same
information may be entered into computer systems three times.

For one book, divisional data are loaded into a dedicated corporate program,
calculated, transferred to Color Graphics input sheets, entered again, and
returned for updates. Problems include inconsistent data between periods and
regions, incorrect variable-cost calculations, unexplained changes to points
that were previously correct, and prior-period data that must be re-entered.

↑ Overall assessment

Most problems arise from a cumbersome fragmented process. No one controls the
data from beginning to end, responsibility is unclear, and errors can fall
between stages. The production process badly needs streamlining, both for each
book and for common calculations. The current team cannot manage the required
changes as well as ongoing production.

Could we discuss how best to proceed?

***

### Findings

| Location | Violation | Fix |
|---|---|---|
| Top / Subject | No answer. Topic label instead of controlling idea. | State recommendation: Streamline process to eliminate errors. |
| Overall assessment | Buried logic. Conclusion sits at end, not top. | Promote to first level; derive branches from these conclusions. |
| Issues | Mixed kinds. Structural critique mixed with symptom list. | Split into Root Causes and Symptoms; ensure same-kind elements. |
| Production | Mechanics/Diagnosis. Describes process, not answer. | Move to appendix; supports belong under first-level branches. |
| Intro | Background only. No Situation/Complication story. | Add SCQ framing to establish reader question before answer. |

### Score

| Axis | Score |
|---|---|
| Top | 0 |
| Same-kind groups | 1 |
| Order | 1 |
| MECE | 1 |
| Display | 1 |
| **Total** | **4 / 10** |

**Band:** Baseline workable

### Three fixes that buy the most

1. Replace subject and opening with answer-first top: Recommend streamlining the graph book process to eliminate recurring errors and inconsistencies.
2. Restructure "Issues" into same-kind groups, e.g., Root Causes (fragmented workflow, unclear ownership) and Symptoms (data mismatches, calculation errors), ordered by impact.
3. Move "Production" details to an appendix and promote the "Overall assessment" conclusions to first-level branches supporting the top.