Van Quaquebeke Respectful Inquiry

---
name: van-quaquebeke-respectful-inquiry
description: "Prepare, conduct, and review leadership conversations using open questions and attentive listening. Use for coaching, feedback, disagreement, team decisions, and helping someone develop their own solution."
---

# Respectful Inquiry

Based on Niels Van Quaquebeke's public method. Not affiliated with or endorsed by Niels Van Quaquebeke.

## When to use

Use this skill when another person's experience, perspective, or ownership matters to a leadership conversation. Typical requests include preparing a manager's one-to-one, improving a feedback script, exploring disagreement, facilitating a team decision, or coaching someone who asks for an immediate solution. Work on the specific issue and relationship rather than generating a generic question bank. [S2] [S3]

The method combines open questions with attentive listening. Niels Van Quaquebeke and Will Felps developed its research foundation together. Its motivational account concerns autonomy, competence, and relatedness; these are design considerations, not guaranteed outcomes. This package translates the public account into agent instructions and conversation artifacts. Its sequence, template, and checklist are practical adaptations, not an expert-authored protocol or validated assessment. [S1]

Choose the appropriate deliverable: a preparation plan, a revised script, or a record of an actual exchange. Preparation does not establish that someone has been heard. In live chat, ask one substantive question, then yield for the response. Use the template selectively so a brief exchange stays brief. If a decision is fixed, communicate that boundary before exploring what remains open. [S2]

## Procedure

1. **Frame the concrete situation.** Identify the issue, participants, available facts, and missing perspectives. Separate reported facts from your interpretation. Read [method: Frame the conversation](references/method.md#frame-the-conversation), then start the context fields in [output-template](templates/output-template.md). Do not supply an absent participant's answer.

2. **State decision boundaries.** Establish who decides, what is settled, and what the respondent can influence. Read [method: Frame the conversation](references/method.md#frame-the-conversation). When the user needs a direction announced, make that announcement clear and reserve inquiry for genuinely open questions.

3. **Test your intention.** Identify what an unexpected answer could change. Read [method: Test intention and recognition](references/method.md#test-intention-and-recognition). Rewrite persuasion disguised as inquiry. Treat the person as someone whose perspective merits consideration even when their role or expertise differs from yours.

4. **Make attention feasible.** Check time pressure, distraction, hierarchy, distance, dissatisfaction, and interaction history. Read [method: Protect attention](references/method.md#protect-attention). Establish a realistic listening opportunity or a specific continuation instead of inviting an answer you cannot attend to.

5. **Draft one open invitation.** Ask about the person's experience or assessment without embedding your diagnosis or preferred remedy. Read [method: Ask an open question](references/method.md#ask-an-open-question). Compare the weak and improved openings in [worked-examples](examples/worked-examples.md) when revising a script.

6. **Listen before advancing.** In live interaction, wait for the answer; in preparation, include a listening instruction. Read [method: Listen and reflect](references/method.md#listen-and-reflect). Acknowledge the actual point and offer a tentative reflection that the speaker can correct.

7. **Follow the answer.** Select the next question from something the speaker introduced, and update your interpretation when corrected. Read [method: Follow meaning](references/method.md#follow-meaning). Keep planned follow-ups conditional; do not run through a questionnaire regardless of what you hear.

8. **Check motivational signals.** Review latitude to contribute, recognition of useful knowledge, and evidence of personal attention. Read [method: Check motivational signals](references/method.md#check-motivational-signals). Adjust wording and behavior without claiming to diagnose the person's needs or measure their motivation.

9. **Invite ownership and add guidance.** Explore what the person would try and what support they need, then contribute relevant constraints, expertise, or a decision. Read [method: Combine inquiry with advocacy](references/method.md#combine-inquiry-with-advocacy). Do not use more questions to avoid giving necessary information.

10. **Close with contribution and follow-through.** Record what the input changed, what remains disputed, and any proposed or accepted next step. Read [method: Close and preserve disagreement](references/method.md#close-and-preserve-disagreement) and complete the closure fields in [output-template](templates/output-template.md). Distinguish proposals from commitments.

11. **Review and revise.** Apply [review-checklist](checklists/review-checklist.md). Repair failed items before delivering a plan; for an actual exchange, identify missing evidence instead of inventing it. Consult [sources](references/sources.md) for attribution and limits. Agreement, courtesy, and question count alone do not establish success.

## Files in this skill

- [SKILL.md](SKILL.md): Entry point, use cases, and the agent's main procedure.
- [references/method.md](references/method.md): Principles, detailed decision rules, warnings, and edge cases.
- [references/sources.md](references/sources.md): Numbered public sources actually fetched and their contributions.
- [examples/worked-examples.md](examples/worked-examples.md): Invented illustrations with weak drafts, improved results, and rule notes.
- [templates/output-template.md](templates/output-template.md): Fill-in conversation plan or exchange record with field guidance.
- [checklists/review-checklist.md](checklists/review-checklist.md): Pass/fail review and common failure modes with repairs.