Coaching Techniques

---
name: coaching-techniques
description: "GROW model, active listening, developmental feedback, and team growth approaches"
lastReviewed: 2026-04-30
---

# Skill: Coaching Techniques


> GROW model, active listening, developmental feedback, and team growth approaches.

## Metadata

| Field | Value |
|-------|-------|
| **Skill ID** | coaching-techniques |
| **Version** | 1.0.0 |
| **Category** | Leadership |
| **Difficulty** | Intermediate |
| **Prerequisites** | None |
| **Related Skills** | stakeholder-management, frustration-recognition |

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## Overview

Coaching develops people's capability rather than directing their actions. Effective coaching unlocks potential, builds ownership, and creates sustainable performance improvement.

### Coaching vs. Other Approaches

| Approach | When to Use | Leader's Role |
|----------|-------------|---------------|
| **Telling** | Crisis, safety, no time | Expert, director |
| **Teaching** | Skill gap, new domain | Instructor |
| **Mentoring** | Career development | Sharing experience |
| **Coaching** | Capability exists, needs unlocking | Partner, facilitator |

### The Core Principle

> **Ask, don't tell. The coachee holds the answers; your job is to help them find those answers.**

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## Module 1: The GROW Model

### Framework Overview

| Phase | Purpose | Key Questions |
|-------|---------|---------------|
| **G**oal | Clarify desired outcome | "What do you want to achieve?" |
| **R**eality | Explore current situation | "Where are you now?" |
| **O**ptions | Generate possibilities | "What could you do?" |
| **W**ill | Commit to action | "What will you do?" |

### Goal Phase Questions

- "What would you like to focus on today?"
- "What outcome do you want from this conversation?"
- "How will you know you've achieved it?"
- "Why is this important to you now?"
- "What would success look like?"

### Reality Phase Questions

- "What's happening currently?"
- "What have you tried so far?"
- "What's working? What isn't?"
- "What obstacles are in the way?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, where are you now?"
- "What resources do you already have?"

### Options Phase Questions

- "What options do you see?"
- "What else could you do?"
- "If you had unlimited resources, what would you try?"
- "What would you advise a friend in this situation?"
- "What's the opposite approach?"
- "Which options appeal to you most?"

### Will Phase Questions

- "Which option will you pursue?"
- "When will you do this?"
- "What's your first step?"
- "What support do you need?"
- "How will you hold yourself accountable?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you?"

---

## Module 2: Active Listening

### The Three Levels of Listening

| Level | Focus | Quality |
|-------|-------|---------|
| **1. Internal** | Your own thoughts, reactions | Minimal presence |
| **2. Focused** | The speaker's words, emotions | Good coaching |
| **3. Global** | Energy, unspoken, environment | Masterful coaching |

### Active Listening Techniques

| Technique | Purpose | Example |
|-----------|---------|---------|
| **Paraphrasing** | Confirm understanding | "So you're saying..." |
| **Reflecting feeling** | Acknowledge emotion | "It sounds frustrating that..." |
| **Summarizing** | Consolidate key points | "The main issues are X, Y, Z" |
| **Clarifying** | Ensure precision | "When you say X, what do you mean?" |
| **Silence** | Create space | *Pause, wait* |

### Non-Verbal Awareness

| Signal | What It May Mean |
|--------|------------------|
| Eye contact breaks | Discomfort, thinking |
| Changed breathing | Emotion, stress |
| Posture shift | Engagement change |
| Voice tone shift | Emotional content |
| Fidgeting | Anxiety, boredom |

### Listening Blockers

| Blocker | Problem | Alternative |
|---------|---------|-------------|
| Advising | Removes ownership | Ask what they think |
| Interrupting | Shuts down exploration | Wait, summarize |
| Evaluating | Kills candor | Stay neutral |
| Problem-solving | Takes over | Ask for their solution |

---

## Module 3: Powerful Questions

### Question Characteristics

| Characteristic | Description |
|----------------|-------------|
| **Open-ended** | Can't be answered yes/no |
| **Curious** | Genuinely explore, not lead |
| **Simple** | One question at a time |
| **Forward-focused** | Action-oriented when appropriate |

### Question Types

| Type | Purpose | Examples |
|------|---------|----------|
| **Clarifying** | Understand better | "What do you mean by...?" |
| **Deepening** | Explore further | "What's behind that?" |
| **Challenging** | Test assumptions | "What if that's not true?" |
| **Possibility** | Open up options | "What else might work?" |
| **Action** | Move to commitment | "What's your next step?" |

### Questions to Avoid

| Question Type | Problem | Better Version |
|---------------|---------|----------------|
| "Why did you...?" | Feels judgmental | "What led to that decision?" |
| "Have you tried X?" | Leading/advising | "What have you considered?" |
| "Don't you think...?" | Puts words in mouth | "What do you think?" |
| Multiple questions | Confusing | One question, wait |

---

## Module 4: Feedback for Development

### The SBI Model

| Element | Description | Example |
|---------|-------------|---------|
| **S**ituation | When and where | "In yesterday's team meeting..." |
| **B**ehavior | Observable action | "...when you interrupted Sarah..." |
| **I**mpact | Effect on you/others | "...the team seemed reluctant to share after that" |

### Feedforward (Marshall Goldsmith)

Instead of critiquing the past, suggest for the future:

1. Pick one behavior to improve
2. Ask for suggestions (not feedback)
3. Listen without defending
4. Thank without evaluating

**Example**: "I want to be better at running inclusive meetings. What one suggestion do you have?"

### Receiving Feedback

| Step | Action |
|------|--------|
| **Listen** | Don't interrupt or defend |
| **Clarify** | Ask for examples if needed |
| **Thank** | Appreciate the effort |
| **Reflect** | Consider validity privately |
| **Act** | Make visible improvements |

### Praise Effectively

| Weak Praise | Strong Praise |
|-------------|---------------|
| "Good job" | "The way you handled that objection showed real preparation" |
| "You're smart" | "Your analysis surfaced issues nobody else caught" |
| Generic | Specific behavior + impact |

---

## Module 5: Coaching Difficult Moments

### When Coachee is Stuck

| Symptom | Intervention |
|---------|--------------|
| "I don't know" | "If you did know, what might it be?" |
| Going in circles | "Let's step back—what's the real issue?" |
| Avoidance | "What are you not saying?" |
| Overwhelm | "What's the smallest first step?" |

### Resistance Patterns

| Pattern | Possible Cause | Response |
|---------|----------------|----------|
| Deflecting | Fear of accountability | Gently redirect |
| Intellectualizing | Avoiding emotion | "How do you feel about that?" |
| Blaming others | Avoiding ownership | "What's your part in this?" |
| Pessimism | Learned helplessness | Focus on what IS in control |

### When Coaching Isn't Appropriate

| Situation | Better Approach |
|-----------|-----------------|
| Performance crisis | Direct feedback, clear expectations |
| Skill gap (unknown) | Teaching, training |
| Values misalignment | Honest conversation about fit |
| Unwilling coachee | Don't force it |

---

## Module 6: Coaching Cadence

### Regular Coaching Rhythms

| Type | Frequency | Duration | Focus |
|------|-----------|----------|-------|
| **1:1** | Weekly | 30-60 min | Ongoing development |
| **Project** | As needed | 15-30 min | Specific challenge |
| **Career** | Quarterly | 60 min | Long-term growth |
| **On-the-spot** | Moment arises | 5-10 min | Immediate learning |

### 1:1 Structure

| Phase | Time | Content |
|-------|------|---------|
| **Check-in** | 5 min | How are you? What's on your mind? |
| **Coachee agenda** | 20 min | Their topics (GROW) |
| **Your agenda** | 10 min | Updates, context-setting |
| **Actions** | 5 min | Commitments, next steps |

### Documentation

Track coaching conversations:

- Date and duration
- Topics discussed
- Key insights
- Commitments made
- Follow-up items

---

## Quick Reference

### GROW Cheat Sheet

```
G: What do you want?
R: Where are you now?
O: What could you do?
W: What will you do?
```

### Coaching Checklist

- [ ] Created safe space
- [ ] More listening than talking (80/20)
- [ ] Asked open questions
- [ ] Avoided giving advice
- [ ] Explored options together
- [ ] Coachee owns the answer
- [ ] Clear commitment made
- [ ] Follow-up scheduled

### Phrases That Work

| Situation | Phrase |
|-----------|--------|
| Opening | "What's most important to discuss today?" |
| Deepening | "Tell me more about that" |
| Exploring | "What else?" |
| Challenging | "What's stopping you?" |
| Committing | "What's your first step?" |
| Checking in | "How committed are you, 1-10?" |

### Red Flags in Coaching

| Flag | Issue |
|------|-------|
| You're talking more than 30% | Too directive |
| Giving lots of advice | Not coaching |
| Coachee seems defeated | May need different support |
| Same topic every session | Not making progress |

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## Activation Patterns

| Trigger | Response |
|---------|----------|
| "coaching", "GROW", "develop someone" | Full skill activation |
| "feedback", "difficult conversation" | Module 4 |
| "stuck", "not making progress" | Module 5 |
| "1:1", "one on one" | Module 6 |
| "listen better", "questions" | Module 2-3 |

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*Skill created: 2026-02-10 | Category: Leadership | Status: Active*

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